Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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