too bad you live with your parents still
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
