He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
