Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
