matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
