i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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