honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
