I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
