i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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