Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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