I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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