i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
