I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
