You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
