how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
