By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just puked most of my soul out..
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