she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
