the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
