I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
i out mim tonsoeep
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