Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
