help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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