I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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