so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
