KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
