watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
