ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Randomize
