a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
