does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
