sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
