if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
im holly from the hills drunk
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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