Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
