AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
