she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
