He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
