I don't usually arrange sex via text message
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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