how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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