i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
