You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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