I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
