About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
