he wants to bone in the snuggie
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
