Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
