What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
