I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
