rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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