How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
