At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Is it because I queefed?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Randomize
