We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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