So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
