Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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