ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
