Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
