Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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