just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
