He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
